Two months and nothing...Sorry. The holidays, finals, and travels have made my time pretty tight. I'm just finishing my three holiday break before I travel back to school. To tell you the truth, I am more concerned about leaving my wife and puppies this time. I just forgot how much I loved my best friend. Anyway enough about all this sappy stuff. Another reason why I haven't blogged for a while is that I've had a hard time not repeating myself. An issue that is often overlooked deals with the intent of worship. I've written about the importance of worship in my life but this is a little deeper.
What up ya'll? (Is there an apostrophe in "ya'll" I don't know but that is not important). it has been a couple of weeks since my last blog and I have been doing some heavy reading in school so I am in over-thinking mode! Anyway, I was reading an article from a magazine I used to have a subscription from. The article was all about entertainment. Yes, awesomeness, I love entertainment: video games, movies, TV shows, music, you name it. The article focused not on these forms of mass media but instead entertainment in church. There is a debate a brewin' all about heart felt worship versus entertaining people. Wow what an issue. What does it mean? Should I focus as a worship leader on heart felt worship or entertaining the people who come to service? Well, obviously as a Christ loving leader, I want to bring glory to God, but are my motives always clear?
So I'm on my four hour trip back to school after spending a wonderful weekend with my wife and puppies (And my parents and my in-laws, but I wasn't going to give you a crazy list here). I wouldn't say that it was restful though. I was thinking about all the work I had to get done for class: read a 400 page book, write case briefs, and study for an exam. I didn't get anything done over the weekend. So of course instead of getting to work, I worried.
Isn't that the way it typically works. Instead of pulling up my big boy pants and gettin' to work, I worry about about and stew over all the things I need to accomplish. It is a cycle that wastes more time, so I have less that I can accomplish overall. When I got back to school I put unpacked my bags and took out my homework. I just sat there. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't in the fetal position or anything but I just was stuck. I didn't know what to do, where to start, or what should be done first.
So here I am a full-time graduate student. To say the least, I am over whelmed. I feel like I am consistently drowning in a sea of readings. With that being said, I have not had a lot of time to devote to what I love. I don't play music, I don't sing, I in turn don't have the fellowship of the people that I play music with. It's tough. Music has always been a conduit to connect my heart to others. Not necessarily worship but instead an expression of grievances, joys, worries, and passions. This past month has been hard. People that I've connected with aren't here. It brings me to a near weeping state. I guess you could equate it to soldiers in the trenches of WWII. Serving together through triumphs and defeats. I miss my band mates. With that being said, I have to keep on keepin' on! According to Joe Dirt, "Life's a garden...Dig It!"
I can't explain it but I love 90s alternative music. You know like the bands that aren't classic rock or country or funk. Bands like Offspring, Pearl Jam, and Sublime. Speaking of Sublime, one of the songs I remember and I know some people might also remember had some lyrics that I think ring particularly true for people who profess they are followers of Christ.
I have for quite some time tried to conform to the people around me. (not right now because I am a 27 year old grad student on a floor with 18 year old undergraduate students) I have tried to fit molds of both the "faithful" and the "unfaithful." I was thinkin' on this for a while and as I was driving to Vermillion, I listened to satellite radio. (Not my car, in-laws...are you kidding, I don't have money!) I was listening to an older 90s station and Sublime's "What I Got" started to play.
We bow our hearts, we bend our knees. Oh spirit come make us humble.
We turn our eyes from evil things. Oh Lord we cast down our idols.
Give us clean hands, Give us pure hearts. Let us not lift our souls to another.
God let us be a generation that seeks. That seeks Your face, oh God of Jacob.
Last week at church the band played this song. It's called "Give Us Clean Hands." It focuses on humans humbling themselves before the creator of all things. It is pretty powerful stuff. I have talked, in past blogs, about the idea of humbling before God. So I won't drag on about that. Instead I want to look at the phrases in this song. Think of it as a study of sorts.
It has been a little while since I have written a blog. I guess it is writer's block. No it was worse than that it was a writer's blockade. Recently I was talking to a friend of mine (I know hard to believe, just kidding). Were talking about church and the purposes of churches. Again I was reminded of the importance of worship but not necessarily in a communal sense. By the end of the discussion I was feeling pretty low about my individual worship lifestyle.
RSS Feed